 “Eight… Come on, Amy! Nine…T…Ten!”
I almost fall on my face. Why aren’t pushups getting any easier? I can still barely do ten and it’s been weeks! Am I doing something wrong? No sleeping on the mat! Sit-ups! Now! And she collapses at twenty sit-ups! Nap? No! Stretch! Now what? For all the work I’ve been putting into my new exercise routine, I don’t feel very different. I don’t think I look different, either. No significant weight loss… Mirror check! “Ouf! Sorry, Whiskers!” I scoop her up on my way to the bathroom. She’s going to send me sprawling one of these days, wandering between my feet the way she does. The same old Amy stares at me from the mirror. Same brown hair. Same brown eyes. One more fluffy sweatsuit. Angry Neighbor in her short shorts… Why am I even bothering?
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 “What do you mean, you’re giving up?” Zoe sounds incredulous at her end of the line.
“It’s not working! I’m getting my hopes up for nothing!” “Of course, it’s working! Listen, honey, you might not see a difference, but I do. And I’ll bet you feel different.” “Not really!” “Do you remember when we met? Can you honestly say your endurance hasn’t increased? That you’re not a little stronger than you were two months ago? That your arms aren’t firmer?” I can’t honestly say any of those things. But… “If pushups are bothering you so much, try doing less, but more often.” Zoe speaks briskly over my silence, as if she hadn’t asked the questions. “Try doing three sets of five a few times a day. Every day. Increase slowly. You have to be consistent. And remember, tomorrow we have Barre!” “I…” “Nothing easy is worth it. Getting in shape is hard because it’s hard, and it’s not going to happen overnight. But your health is worth it. YOU are worth it. I still feel like crying. “Small victories, one at a time. You can do this, Amy.” Small victories…  “Perfect!
Well, maybe not exactly perfect. Note to self, grab one or two of Mama’s million vases next time I’m home. But my bouquet looks pretty in the glass pitcher. I smile at Thomas. “Thank you, again. I hope you know that I really didn’t expect anything. Zero percent.” He smiles back. “And yet you must have spent hours making and wrapping candy for everyone you know.” “Not everyone. Only…” Amy! Really? “I…I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day.” He takes both my hands in his. Eeeek! I can hear my heartbeat in my ears! “The way you love life… It’s one of the things I like best about you.” “It is?” He nods. “Yeah. It is.” I swallow. “One of the things?” His smile deepens. “There are lots of them. You put your heart into everything you do. You care about people.” He moves his hands from my arms to my hips. Slowly, so slowly, he pulls me closer. This feels so right! Am I supposed to do something? I can only stare up at him. His blue eyes are looking into mine as he bends his head towards me. “You’re my first Valentine in a long time.” His voice has changed. Deeper. More serious. “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met.” Firm, but gentle. A totally swoony first kiss…  “Amy, you promised you would go to church. I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but it’s also Ash Wednesday.”
“Mama?” I check my phone. 6 a.m.! I was up until 2:00 making candy! “Are you calling me this early just to remind me?” “I certainly am! I can hardly believe you haven’t joined a church yet! That’s not how you were raised!” “I told you, I’m going with Carmen and her family!” “When?” “At 8:00!” “That’s fine, then. Happy Valentine’s, honey!” “Happy Valentine’s, Mama.” “Did you make your candy?” I feel a smile coming on. “I sure did!” “Did you save some for Daddy and me?” “Of course! And for the rest of the family. I’m sending everyone’s to your address today, special delivery! Be on the lookout!” “I can’t wait!” “I’m going to sleep for another hour. Love you, Mama! Give Daddy a kiss from me!” “I will. Love you, honey! Have a wonderful day!” Whiskers’s little claws poke me as she kneads a spot at the foot of the bed. She’s purring. I kind of want to purr, too. For one thing, my bed’s deliciously warm and comfy. For another, I love Valentine’s Day. I’ve loved it ever since I was little. Aaand… I hope Thomas will like the box of treats I’ve prepared for him and his mom.  “Hey, what’s that on your forehead?”
“It’s a cross! Or, at least, it was this morning!” Simon grins. “What, you’re Catholic?” “I am! You?” “Isn’t it obvious? I’m Jewish!” I grin. “Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?” “No! I barely survived a horrible divorce! What’s to celebrate?” “Ouf, Simon! Here! This is for you and your kids!” “What is it?” “Open it!” “Chocolate candy?” “Of course, chocolate candy!” “Homemade?” “Of course!” “What’s the catch?” I can’t stop the burst of laughter. This man! “No catch! I just love Valentine’s Day. I make candy for my friends every year.” “Are you sure you’re not in love with me?” “Simon!” He’s grinning, now. Exactly the reaction I was hoping for. “I appreciate it. The kids are going to be thrilled. Thanks, Amy.” “Happy Valentine’s Day, Simon!” I gesture for him to say it back. “Yeah, yeah. Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too.” He’s still grinning.  “I hate you.”
Zoe cackles. “You would never have tried it on your own!” “You’ve got that right! Especially if you’d had the decency to tell me I’d be in pain for a whole week after!” “Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad. What makes you think it’ll take you a week to get over it?” “I just worked muscles I didn’t even know that I have! We just left and I’m already sore!” “Well, I say good for you!” She pauses, then bursts out laughing. “I’m glad I was on the other side of the room! “I’m not! Those ladies looked as though they wanted to kill me! They might have, too, if I’d bumped or kicked them one more time!” “That’s your imagination. I’m just kidding. I’m proud of you. It was your first time. You did great.” Sigh. “Thank you.” “Wanna go again next week?” Do I? My muscles and core definitely got a good workout, and I learned some new exercises. Actually, now that it's over, it was kind of cool. And it's always fun being with Zoe. “Yeah, I'll go. If I can walk by then.”  “Plié down! Up! Down! Up! Two more! Down! Pulse!”
PULSE? Ow! Ow, ow, ow… Quick glance at Zoe. I knew it. She’s enjoying this! “Relevé!” What? Pay attention, Amy! “Lift! Lift!” Lift what? Oh! MY HEELS? “Pulse! One, two…” NO MORE PULSING! “Side! Bend! Flex! Point” Ouch! I just kicked that lady! “Sorry! Wrong side!” She does NOT look forgiving! “Other side!” I just kicked the other lady! Dammit! I CAN'T THINK! My thighs are on fire! Curtsey? Did the instructor just say “curtsey”? It’s a…lunge? Now? You’ve got to be kidding. I’m going to kill Zoe.  “Wow. What an awful few years. How’s your mom doing now?”
“She’s okay. My dad was sick for a long time. She never left his side, and she still misses him. But since her hip replacement, she’s gone back to work. It’s a part-time office job and it’s good for her. I’m even thinking of moving out. She really doesn’t need me anymore. And even though we get along fine, I think we would both appreciate our own space.” He’s going to move? “Would you move far?” “No, I like this neighborhood. I’m comfortable here, and I’d rather not be too far, in case Mom needs me. She doesn’t have anyone else. And since I work from home, it doesn’t matter where I live.” Phew! The ducks are cute. I can still just see them now that the sun’s disappeared. Thomas slaps his thighs. “We’d better get moving! I didn’t mean to tell you my life story.” I have to smile as we both stand up. “You didn’t. But maybe we’ll get there?” “Only if you’ll tell me yours.” “There’s not much to tell.” He’s smiling too. “Somehow, I doubt that. Do you think… Would you like to walk/run to the lake this Saturday? Maybe have lunch together after? Just something casual.” WHAT? YESSSSS! Easy does it, Amy! I nod. Calmly. “That sounds nice.” “Great. Are you ready for a little run now?” I'm too happy to complain, but... “Sure. But I won’t last long.” “I bet you’ll last longer than you think.” More than two blocks, you mean?  This morning was so gloomy and this evening, so fab! Winter and spring on the same day!
I wish I could have gotten home a little earlier, but I’ll take what sunshine I can get. It’s perfect weather for a walk. Is that…? Even better! We stop, face to face, both grinning for no apparent reason. “Good evening, Thomas!” “Good evening. I don’t usually see you out at this time of day.” Those blue eyes… He’s so gorgeous! “I couldn’t help myself. This weather is irresistible.” “Is this your me-time? Would you like to walk with me to the duck pond?” “Duck pond? Do you mean the lake?” “You haven’t been to the duck pond? It’s small, but it’s nice and a lot closer than the lake.” “Yeah, sure! I really need to get out more.” I turn to walk beside the man. Eeeek! He’s smiling. “Seems to me you get out plenty. I just don’t know where you…go?” “I, um, well…” He laughs. So do I. Laughing! Together!  “I’m sorry she made you sad, Amy.” There’s a little frown between Samira’s big, brown eyes.
“You’re not upset anymore, are you?” Carmen looks up from the pot she’s stirring. “No, I’m not.” She’s looking at me as if trying to see my soul. “Truly, I’m fine. But I don’t even know her name! How can she hate me so much?” “She hates herself, not you.” Carmen starts washing up. “I agree with Carmen. She’s obviously unhappy.” Samira checks the oven. “This is done. Come see how it looks, Amy.” The curried chicken thighs cooked with vegetables in a rich, curry sauce look and smell fantastic. In fact, my kitchen smells so unbelievably delicious that I can hardly believe it’s mine. Even better, I cooked the stew and chicken myself. Carmen and Samira helped a little, but they mostly supervised. Teach a woman to fish and all that… “Her name is Misty Stockbridge.” Carmen dries her hands on a tea towel. “Her husband is Charles. He’s no more pleasant than she is. You can't let people like that bother you." “And you're sure...” A sigh escapes me. I hate sounding needy, but… “You're sure my house doesn't look tacky?" Samira lays a hand on my arm. “Of course not. Everyone loves your house, and we all appreciate how well you take care of it. Don't worry about her rude majesty." Carmen nods. "She'd better hope she doesn’t run into Marge any time soon.” I can't help but laugh. “I have to admit, I never expected to hear Marge use those words.” They laugh, too. And just like that, it's done. |
She loves people, books, poetry, baking, and is currently obsessed with her new house!
Unfortunately, she's not so crazy about herself. That has to change. You've Got This, Amy Munro! Archives
April 2024
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